Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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