so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize