too bad you live with your parents still
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize