just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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