you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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