she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize