If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize