I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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