She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
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I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
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