He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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