vagina is talking i cant
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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