Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize