I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
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