Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize