It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
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well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
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That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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