god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I cockslap morals
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
the raccoons are back...
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