In the future we'll all be gay
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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