I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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