I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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