He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
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We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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