I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize