I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize