I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize