last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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