I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
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Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I need water and some morals
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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