So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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