I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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