you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
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