i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
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I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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