I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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