apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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