We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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