So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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