told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
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In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I will pee on everything he values.
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I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
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