i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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