Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
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I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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