And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
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So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
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You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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