Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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