bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You can't special order awesome
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize