Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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