I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think I sprained my soul last night
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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