I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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