sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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