i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
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The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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