he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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