I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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