she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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