and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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