At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
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Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
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I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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