So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
is that a dick in a sweater?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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