frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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